WASHINGTON, DC, February 11, 2013 — Putting an end to the spate of recent unexpected discoveries by otherwise loyal journalists that he may be to the left of the county's political center, President Obama today signed an executive order moving the country's political center to the left, approximately two feet away from where he was sitting. Many political commentators praised this as a "brilliant move," which promises to bring them back right into the mainstream. In the words of a newly centrist pundit Ed Shultz of the suddenly middle-of-the-road MSNBC network," this decision also cements Obama's position as president of all the people, at least all the ones that count anyway."...
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